Family Narration

            I remember the time in high school, when the Navy recruiters came – promising an adventure and money for school.  I knew that I wasn’t emotionally ready or responsible enough for such an adventure.  Other parents encouraged their children to leave home right after high school though.  My father told me that the sooner the child leaves their parents the better – after all he moved away from his parents when he was 16 years old.  But I don’t think leaving home has helped my dad because he still hasn’t finished school or maturing.  I did move out for a short time when I was about 23 years old, but it was for a couple of months and I lived a few blocks away from my parents – so I think it didn’t count.  The only thing I learned from that is you should know more about the soon-to-be roommates, or have none.  When I was 26 years old though, I felt ready to take on the Navy adventure.  I only thought it would be an adventure and a job experience.

            I still remember when my parents went with me to San Diego before I flew to Chicago.  Mom was both sad and proud that I was leaving, while my father hid his emotions from me until he dropped me off and exclaimed how proud he was of me and even cried.  I left thinking that all would be the same when I returned.

When I got to Chicago I was so excited, but I still called my parents when I got to the airport and boot camp.  The days had slowly passed and I began to miss my family more and more.  Homesickness started when I thought of mom’s home-cooked meals rather than the cafeteria food.  Then I got the letters from my family and friends, and it made me yearn to hear their voices – we were not allowed to make phone calls.  Going to church on Sundays helped pass time but it still made me think of my family.  Boot camp became very physically challenging and stressful for me.  There were times that the “RDC”  (recruit division commander) would threaten to have us pushed-back in which we would have to re-do a week or more and make our graduation date postponed to a later date.  When people in my unit messed up, they would even threaten to remove us from the Navy.  They were using any motivations they could, but of course that only made me think of my family, especially my father – who did these negative motivations as a way to get me to do something.  I was so worried of being pushed-back that it made me try even harder with my exercises; I would do more push-ups and sit-ups than were required so that I would pass the physical exam.

            More than two months had passed with struggles, good times, and continuously being homesick.  Graduation was arriving and we were able to us the phones, but not as much as I wanted to.  I was finally able to call home!  My graduation was supposed to be in March of 2003 and during that time there was more terrorist attacks and warnings. Even now I can’t remember what exactly happened that made the government raise the security threat procedures.  What I do remember was the RDC saying that the security might be raised higher and that there was a chance our parents couldn’t attend our graduation.  This was the graduation everyone was working so hard on in order to impress our parents. The graduation that I was longing for because I would be able to see my parents and now there was the possibility that they wouldn’t be allowed to come.  When I reflect about this I still become sad.  A week had passed with this tension and there was no news of change.  One morning, during breakfast, I was feeling a deep crying attack come, so of course I wanted privacy to cry.  I went to the bathroom to be alone but instead of crying I had a panic attack.  One of the RDC’s carried me out of the bathroom and waited for an ambulance to arrive.  I remember being carried away to the ambulance and the higher-ranking RDC saying that it’s so cold and that they should put my coat on – but I felt nothing.  I survived the attack and thankfully since that was my first and hopefully only attack, I was allowed to stay in the Navy.  After talking with a priest and calling mom I realized that I had a great fear of not seeing my family again and that’s what caused the panic attack.  Talking with my mother made me realize how I will always somehow see and hear her.

            Graduation day was a real relief for me.  Seeing my parents reaffirmed that they’ll always be there for me.  But the death of my 16-year-old dog on that day was only the beginning of life changing.  I had to stay in Chicago for two months longer for extra training and during that time my parents decided to separate.  Having the chance to talk to my mother almost every day helped me through those months – I was really homesick.  When I flew back to California I was overjoyed when my mom and sisters gave me a welcome-home-party.  It was a relief to be back in my hometown and I knew I was lucky to be stationed close to home.  My mother always drove me to and from the train station and sometimes to San Diego.  The weekends with my family is what I always anticipated, and I was always disappointing people when they asked if I’d work for them during the weekends – no matter how much money they gave me.  But after being assigned to the ship, my first thought was hoping that they wouldn’t deploy me right away – but they did.

My first deployment was luckily very short – a few months, and we returned 2 days before my birthday.  At the end of the deployments the command always allows family members to come onboard when we reach either Hawaii or the neighboring marine base near San Diego – my father and some relatives thankfully came aboard.  My second deployment was for 6 months, so it was harder to say goodbye to my mother.  She took the train to San Diego a few days before I left and we had a lot of fun during those short days.  The morning I left mom and I cried – I already knew I’d miss her.  The last deployment was the same thing, but thankfully my sisters came to San Diego too.  The ability to see my family before I left helped me through the redundant days ahead or even wishing that they were there with me when we went to exotic places.  And it was really great to visit my aunt in Hawaii when my ship went there before going home because I knew I was closer to home.  I was lucky to work with people who were understanding and good-at-heart.  They were there for me as much as my family was during the changes at home, even the time when my grandmother died.  We had just left for San Francisco when I found out, so my command made me focus on preparing for my emergency vacation, and skip out on group work.  They also encouraged me to call my mother often and to talk with a priest.